His little hand made its way to mine as his "ball of energy" little brother ran ahead of us down the street racing against the wind.
His hand gripped mine tighter and his smile got bigger as he made our hands swing back and forth with force as to create his own game.
I laughed back at him, pushed my hair out of my face, and swallowed the big lump in my throat because I needed to apologize to him for something...I felt like I had failed as a mom...my husband and I both felt like we had failed him. I started the conversation holding back the tears...
"Hey buddy...mommy and daddy want to apologize to you. When you got saved at the beginning of the summer we both congratulated you separately. But we didn't really do anything as a family to celebrate your decision. We celebrate a lot of things like birthdays and Christmas ...but the decision you made was the most important decision in your life. We are so sorry that we let the summer get away from us buddy and that we didn't do anything."
"Thats ok mom, I understand!" He said looking up at me with his big round, green eyes and a big smile.
"Well, thank you for understanding...what would you like to do to celebrate? We will do whatever you want!" I promised.
His answer surprised me. I was expecting to hear him say he wanted a new toy or a new Xbox game.
"We haven't had a family game night in like 1,000 years so we can do that!"
"1,000 years is a bit of a stretch dude, you haven't even been alive that long...neither has mommy." I said with laughter behind my words.
"Ok, well maybe more like 3 months." He giggled.
"Ok...well family game night it is! Anything else?"
"Yes, family game night and I want to go to Cook Out to eat."
"Deal!"
We shook on it and then we kept talking while little brother ran back and forth down the uninhabited street.
"So, Buddy can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, mom."
"What did it feel like when Jesus came into your heart?"
"Mommy, it felt like this door in my heart opened and this amazing joy filled my heart...it just felt like JOY!" He shouted.
"Wow, Buddy that's amazing! Anything else?"
"Well, mom...it was like my heart was etched in grey...and then when Jesus stepped in...lazers started to shoot off in all kinds of colors and it was like a party in my heart."
You couldn't paint a bigger smile on my face if you tried! In that moment I was overwhelmed with joy myself. And as our conversation continued I stood more in awe of our son...
Our son gets the heart of Jesus...
He understands forgiveness...
He has an amazing understanding of who Jesus is and what He does for each and every one of us...
He values relationships...
He understands what it means to celebrate life change...
This kid blows me away!
And in our moment on the street together, he reminded me why Jesus told us to have a child like faith...
Matthew 18:3,
"I assure you," He said, "unless you are converted and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
Children get more than we give them credit for...
We need to channel some of our inner child a little more than we do (trust me I'm preaching to the choir). Because children just believe. As adults we lose that about us. We become bent by the world and our experiences that we doubt what Jesus can do for us...what Jesus has for us...where Jesus wants us to go...
I know that lately I have been stressed out about "finding my calling" but in the middle of listening to our son sharing his life changing story with me...talking with me about salvation...about his desire for baptism...about his desire to join our family in helping to reach others for Christ...about his desire to celebrate life change with others...I would say that I'm right smack where I am suppose to be...
If you are struggling to find your calling or you have been stressed trying to find it...take a double take...you might already be right where you are called to be...
Taking double takes with you friends,
Tiffany
Our "salvation" celebration night:
