First, let me just say that it has been way to long since I have written...am I right? March was my last blog and that is just way to long for me. I have had this constant urge to write and I have ignored it for long enough. Now, that being said, as a family we have been extremely busy. We have had church, Boy Scouts, COOP, daily life stuff, and so much more. But really that’s not an excuse. I know God has been nudging me to write. So, here I am laying down the excuses, staying up way past my bed time to get something out that I have been thinking through. Now, if I’m being completely honest I have been thinking through a lot lately so there may be a blast of blogs heading your way. But I’ll do my best to not overwhelm you :). Here goes nothing... Just recently in our youth group (my husband and I volunteer as leaders and help with social media and tech like things...we are not still in high school...lol...just in case you were wondering) but any who, our youth leader asked us the question “What do we consider to be a win each week for the youth group?” He asked us this question to help us to be more focused as a team. We all talked about it and ultimately came up with our main focus or #win. As I left the meeting though I quickly asked myself the same question, “what do I define as a win for myself each day.” To be frank, at first I couldn’t even answer the question. Although, the fact I couldn’t answer it, gave me my answer. I was blown away.
I started to pay more attention to my actions each day. The things I stressed myself over. The things that I put myself down for each day. You know we all have these expectations on ourselves...some more than others. The more I paid attention the more I realized that my expectations that I set for myself and my family were way too high...unattainable almost.
I realized that I felt like I wasn’t winning if... (trust me you are going to cringe when you read this list)...
1. If I didn’t get up early every morning to read my Bible. 2. If I didn’t get up early to exercise. 3. If my children slept a little later than they were suppose to. 4. If all my laundry wasn’t done and put away every day. 5. If dishes weren’t all done and put away at the end of the day. 6. If my kids didn’t acted perfect during school and get every single thing done with a smile on their faces. 7. If my house wasn’t all picked up at the end of the day. 8. If my family didn’t eat a healthy meal. 9. If I didn’t write in my book that I am working on. 10. If I didn’t end the day without fussing at the kids as they got into bed. (I know there are more but it’s midnight 🤪). As I sit and stare at this list...I realize that most, if not all of the time, I’m still chasing perfection. So much so, that I get to the point that I am not happy unless I am reaching this level of perfection that I conjure up in my mind. Now, I’m not saying that these things aren’t doable. But to be doable on a daily basis without any one of these falling to the wayside is insanity. I have also realized that when I try to reach these goals all the time I am absolutely miserable, angry, down on myself constantly; which can only mean one thing...I am probably making everyone around me miserable, angry, and constantly feeling down. Not only that, when I’m focused on all of these things that I think are wins...I am missing out on the actual wins that happen each day! Like today for instance, our oldest son who has dyslexia and dysgraphia took a math test today...he didn’t cry (math has been a serious struggle for him) and he rocked it and got a 95%! #winning ❤️ This morning we got to do bible time with daddy because he was home from work today! He got to hear our youngest pray and help teach our kids! #winning ❤️. We also went to the grocery store and my boys and hubs somehow managed to surprise me with roses 🌹 #winning❤️. We even had the best meal for dinner...spaghetti and meatballs...and I didn’t cook it... #winning ❤️. No, it wasn’t the healthiest but it was sure delicious 😋 and we had the best time eating it while we watched Hotel Transylvania 3 🧛♀️ #winning ❤️. Yes, my house is not up to my crazy standard...I still have clothes to put away, there are dishes in the sink, and oh my goodness I haven’t vacuumed today. BUT there have been SO MANY WINS! Friends, if you are like me and put way to high of expectations on yourself and others...do yourself and everyone else around you a favor...take a deep breath...take off all of the perfect expectations...and take a look at what is right in front of you. Enjoy the big wins. Enjoy the little wins. Maybe you can’t think of a long list of wins because it’s been an awful day, awful week, or even an awful year. But do your best to try to find one win. Just one. You may find that when you think of just one...so many come after that and then you find yourself in a state of thanksgiving. No longer will you be in a state of anger, frustration, or putting yourself down. But you will be in a state of thankfulness realizing how good life really is...how good God really is! Trust me friend...you will realize that you really are #winning ❤️. 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” Love, T